Brenda

        I can't remember what Brenda reminds me of. It's either one of the four Futurama movies, the one titled 'The Beast With A Thousand Backs'; or the Joaquin Phoenix/Spike Jonze film, 'Her'. It's not that she hasn't made a crystal clear impression on my mind, moreso that my memory is garbage.

        The first time we met was at the Department of Coffee store in Spitalfields Market, I was working there for the day, and it was one of her first days working for the company. Maybe her first day ever, even? Let's say for the story that it was. And she'd just gotten out of jail. And it was raining outside. And let's say it was... ooooh I don't know... a WEDNESDAY!!
        We did whatever we do at work all day: make coffee and chat, and then at the end of the day I said my goodbyes, and turning to her, said something to the effect of, “cya round!”
        “Are you working tomorrow?”
        “No, I was just at this store for today, normally I work at a different store.” With that, the news that we wouldn't be spending the next day, or any in the foreseeable future working together, she turned to jelly and let out what would be the first of many trademark Brenda Cries:
        “Aaaaawwww!”
        And my heart turned to jelly with her.

        That's the thing about this girl, she can melt your heart in a second. It's dangerous though – hearts melt because they feel special, and finding out that she does that to a lot of people... well that's why she reminds me of whichever movie she reminds me of... I'll remember in a second.

        In 'The Beast With A Billion Backs', an alien comes to Earth (look at this point I'm assuming you guys all know the basic premise of Futurama, right? Come on...) and spreads love to everyone by way of shoving one of it's infinite number of alien tentacles into their brain.... or something. There's a scene where Fry confronts his ex, who he broke up with after discovering she dated four other guys at the same time as him, but the confrontation takes an unexpected turn when, with the new perspective of the alien love-tentacle, he offers, “Why should you be satisfied with one man, when love needs to share itself with the whole universe!?”
        Futurama is kind of a parody though, or a satire... whatever it is, it doesn't take itself as seriously as 'Her'.

When I took this photo the gardener asked "what's with the car?", I replied "It's my to van and I like it." To which he said, "Good answer."

        'Her' is about hypothetical near-future AI technology that basically acts like a person without a body, like a human mind inside a computer. The AI minds evolve faster than their human counterparts can keep up with them, and while Joaquin Phoenix's human character remains in love with his computer-girly (Samantha), she evolves past the human limitation of finite love – she's in love with six-hundred and forty-one others at the same time as him. That all sounds so wanky and I can't believe that I just wrote it. I'm almost at the bottom of my can of Stella, sitting in my room, it's nearly midnight. I think I'm going to open another beer.
        The line that hits home here is this one, from Samantha:
        “...but the heart's not like a box that gets filled up, it expands in size the more you love.”

        Beautiful shit.

        So Brenda and I (or “Brenda and Me”... honestly I can't stop thinking about it) took acid on Wednesday. We took acid at midday, and then went to the Tate Modern. It was insane, there were moving colours (MOVING! IMAGINE!!), and paintings, and sculptures, and nowhere to sit down. Modern ART!! The coffee was adequate.
        At one point I started ranting, because as far as I'm concerned – and I stand by this point – art galleries should be places where people are driven to wild, visceral emotions, right? Art is supposed to be this crazy thing that inspires and scares and challenges us and whatever. All of the feelings. So why then, does no one in art galleries show any trace of emotion whatsoever?
        People just file past, straight-faced. “Ooh look at that, that's a bit of wood there, very angry, the artist was clearly in a state of turmoil blah blah”, SO WHY ARE YOU BARELY BREATHING THEN!?!?!
        I pretty much shouted exactly that – those words there in capitals. I shouted them in the middle of the gallery, and then Brenda ran away to let me calm down for a bit.

Before we took acid we had a nice brunch with poached eggs, and then we took this picture to get The Rocker involved.

        I had a difficult afternoon that day, but that's down to my own inability to get out of my head at times, and that's not really part of the story.
        When we got to London Fields towards the end of the trip, we met up with a bunch of mates, including Adam – boyfriend, last blog, no time for re-exposition – and he and I had the chat that we've been working up to for the longest time.
        I mean, it was more him having the chat at me, because I was beyond fragile and in a vulnerable drug-state, but everything he said was perfect.
        We both care about that girl a lot, and we both want her attention all the time, but for some reason, there's something about her that is conducive to close relationships with guys. That's why we've both been able to feel so strongly about her, and that's also why we can't let our own needy inadequacies get in the way of other people's connections with her. That's about as well as I can say it, and that's why Brenda reminds me of those two movies. That girl's heart is open, and no matter how many people she lets in, it doesn't get full.

        I guess, upon reflection, it's more 'Her', than Futurama, so I guess we can call that mission accomplished huh? I had a question, and I answered it.
        Brenda reminds me of the movie 'Her', you guys! The movie 'Her', starring Joaquin Pheonix and Scarlett Johansson! Directed by Spike Jonze! Released by Warner Bros. Pictures in 2013!! Rated R for language, sexual content, and brief nudity!!1!
        I'm actually the stupidest person.

Also some more things about Brenda: she's a super passionate barista, great photographer, and is humble as all hell. Sometimes she dresses like a Japanese Geisha, but other times she wears dungarees, because you gotta mix it up some.
        She's my friend, and that in itself is fantastic.
        BRENDA!!

Peace, Taco.

Click here to read the next part - Goodbyes: Mark and Rebecca (and Aaron)