Adam and Brenda

        I don't want to say that the way I tend to see relationships in my head is wrong, because that's a crazy thing to say, and seems a little dramatic. Fatalistic even. So let's not call it wrong, but it does seem to be incorrect.

        Two people, together as one. That's the dream right? That's the Spice Girls song.
        Two halves of one whole. The two lost searchers put to final rest in the blissful company of their other. But that's insane, and that's way, way, way too much pressure. I've started to look around and see the friends of mine who are in relationships and the ways they still live their lives as separate people – it seems obvious now to say, but I need to say it out loud somewhere, because I think I've been infected my whole life with Disney-Brain.
        Life isn't a Cinderella Story.

        We went to The Garage in Islington to see By The Rivers – that's Me, Adam, and Brenda. By the way, as an aside, fuck this old “Adam, Brenda, and I” grammar rule bullshit, it sounds fucking ridiculous and I hate it. If nothing else, it consigns ME (or “I” – SORRY!!) to the end of the list, which I thoroughly disagree with, being as I am – to myself – the most important part of any group.
        Seriously, I'm not even joking.

        So Me, Adam, and Brenda went out last Wednesday night to see By The Rivers, a six-piece ska/reggae act from Leicester. We'd had tickets for a month or so since Brenda bought them after we'd listened to their debut album like five times the first day we put it on in the cafe. She came round the corner after a few minutes' silence, and announced, “I bought us tickets!” That girl is fantastic, I've never loved coming to work so much.
        Adam is her boyfriend, he's the person who first listened to By The Rivers out of the three of us – he'd actually seen them a year earlier. He comes into one of our other cafes in Piccadilly every day and gets coffee, and theirs is a tale of customer/barista romance, and one hard-fought on his part. Months of being just “Brenda's Friend” to every other questioning suitor who cast a cursory eye her way. I was one of those suitors too, in the beginning, but Adam held on.

This really isn't the best picture of Adam, but I feel like it's the one he'd be most upset with me posting, which is why I posted it.

        Brenda and I are very close. More than anyone I've ever met, she somehow feels comfortable giving herself to people. I've never been able to do that, it makes me uncomfortable, just like it's making me uncomfortable right now to write about. I'm not sure if you noticed, but I haven't said something sarcastic in like three paragraphs.

        But going to By The Rivers with Brenda and Adam did not make me feel like a third wheel.

        The fact that I even expected it might is symptomatic of the attitude I was talking about at the start there – the idea that two people in a relationship with each other can only operate within that paired dynamic is crazy. We are dynamic people, we can change according to different situations, and also our relationships are dynamic, there are no fixed criteria to define relationships between two people, and just because two people work well together doesn't mean they can't work well with anyone else.
        Sure, two wheels is great sometimes, but three wheels can be great too, because we are none of us, bicycles. We're all just wheels, rolling around life, bumping into shit and dancing.

        Before the show we went to eat at a Vietnamese restaurant that Adam randomly pointed to, not realising that it was EXACTLY what I wanted to eat. I pulled The Rocker out of my bag and put him upside down in the empty basket of prawn crackers. We laughed, ate our food, smoked cigarettes, and missed all of the three support acts. It was still light outside, because summer is coming and life is beautiful.

The Rocker's eyes are bigger than it's stomach!

        After the show my full stomach had settled. The dancing was good, although a little subdued – reggae is a little too slow to REALLY get down to. I like the kind of vigorous dancing where you nearly hurt yourself, I like music that makes you want to do something embarrassing. We grooved at a leisurely pace for the whole set though, with big smiles across the crowd.
        By The Rivers are about as positive a band as you're likely to find. I sent them a Tweet back in April about Spurs coming for Leicester in the Premier League, and then immediately felt like a dickhead, because even though it was just banter, that kind of thing is so not what these guys are about.
        I also felt like a dickhead because Leicester ended up winning, and Spurs came third.
        The crowd at The Garage chanted “Campeones” instead of “encore” to bring the band back on, and all six of them grinned their faces off before launching into the last tune.

        And then I lost The Rocker.
        I realised it was missing when I started rummaging through my bag with increasing fury after the lights came on, and the other two quickly picked up on what was happening as I raced out the door and across the road to the Vietnamese restaurant, inside, “DID YOU GUYS SEE A LITTLE TOY VAN SITTING ON THIS TABLE?!”
        The staff had it waiting on the counter. Reunited.

        Seriously man, I love this little car.

Peace, Taco.

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